That Nigerian Girl

Hello! It’s been a while, forgive me.   A lot has happened and I cannot wait to share it with you. So, for those who know me, you would and should know that I am a feminist. And just so we’re on the same page, Feminist: A person who supports the belief that women should have the same opportunities and rights as men. Any idea different from this is not what feminism is about. Okay. It’s been two months at home now because of the Corona Virus, I hope you’re social distancing, washing your hands and being cautious. (Really, I hope you are). In this lockdown, a lot of things have happened. I have gone through a lot of phases and observed a lot of things, and I am going to talk about one of those observations. My Cousin, her children and I live together during this period. If you follow me you must have seen them one way or another. Lol. What I observed put questions on stereotypes for me. Lmao. You know that crap about women being natural caregivers, more attentive, and all tha

Hello, Welcome to the new year, welcome to 2020. Like all new years before this, you may or may not have a new year’s resolution. If you did have a resolution for the year 2019, did you achieve the things you set down to? If you did achieve them, congratulations!!!  If like me you didn’t achieve all that you set out to, please gather here for a group hug. If you didn’t achieve any goal at all...breathe. I do know that life happens, challenges occur, curve balls and down times are a thing. If you did experience any life changing setback in 2019, please share with us on how you were able to bounce back. 2019 was a significant year for me, moving away from a 9-5, trying new paths, and being flat out broke.To be very honest, my biggest support came from family. Understanding that I was at this difficult place, knowing that I was trying to find my place, not talking me down or placing a pressure to achieve. I was already under pressure from the goals that

Did you see when she laughed? Did you see when he smirked? Did you hear their ring of laughter? Did you hear their muffled voices? Why do you believe then What you believe?  When you did not see, When you did not hear. You believe what you believe  Because you know O darling, you know That the trees and sky Bear witness.

Brethren, this is the story. I’m at home, watching Nat Geo Wild with family. The narrator alongside accompanying visuals, tell us of a Lion family. Two adult male lions, two adult female lions, one female teenage lion, five male teenage lions, and baby lions. Teenage lions (for the sake of this story) Tunde, Ayo, Femi, Tobi, Fola and Ibukun. Ibukun being the eldest. Teenage lions still have some months to remain with their family before they leave to forge their own path. One thing very essential for their journey of independence still ahead, is the ability to hunt and feed. One day, both adult male lions leave to patrol and protect their territory. Adult female lions also leave for the business of the day. Teenage boys decide to go hunting, to show that they are becoming of age. Elder sister shows them how it’s done. After stalking some antelopes (I think) with no success, a stampede of buffaloes make their way towards the teenage lions. They look for the weak link a

“The Joys of Motherhood” by Buchi Emecheta: A Feminist Review Nnu Ego the daughter of Ona and her lover Agbadi, is born with a mark on her head. The mark is on the same spot where the slave girl to be buried alive with Agbadi’s first wife suffered an injury. Refusing to go down without a fight, she promised Agbadi that she would come back to him as his own. Ona dies and leaves her daughter in Agbadi’s care, making him promise that he would allow her be a free woman, giving her away in marriage only if it was Nnu Ego’s choice. When Nnu Ego does not bear children for her husband, Agbadi receives her back home and returns the bride price paid. Soon after, she is taken to Lagos to meet another man. Nnu Ego is however disappointed with the appearance of her new husband Nnaife, but endures him with hope that he can give her children. Agbadi on his death bed calls for his daughter Nnu Ego, she returns to the village and shows Agbadi that his daughter had become a complete woman and

I am unlearning silence Learning how to say no To things that make me uncomfortable To the things that hurt me To the things that me question self-worth To the things that make me subservient I am unlearning grief Learning to let go Of the thoughts that draw me back Of the words that pierced my heart Of the laughter that mocked my spirit Of the promises that ridiculed my choice I am learning laughter Learning to hold on To the things that bring me joy To the things that flood my heart with light To the words that propel me forward To the people who bring me peace I am learning bravery Learning to say yes To the things that make me free To things passion brings my way To the path that lets my voice be heard To the one that lets my heart love To the one that leads my heart to love

I think it is indeed true that when one sits in a dirty environment for too long he or she becomes numb to the dire reality of his or her situation. I was on my way home from work. At a certain stop the taxi driver plied a different route to avoid a ‘hold up’. Whilst we were going past it, passengers in the vehicle could see more clearly the magnitude of the ‘hold up’. If we had plied the normal route, I estimate that we would have spent at least 20 minutes going through. The lady beside me exclaimed “this one na small sef, e no too long”. I’m not sure if I rolled my eyes, I think I should have. I don’t mean to sound impatient or rude. How on earth can you ply a route that takes you 30 minutes and counting to get through, every day, for most days of your life, and the day you spend 20 minutes you rejoice as though a helicopter lifted you and dropped you off at your door step. You deserve to go through seamless traffic! Now, while you might be thinking 15, 20 minutes is not